(Updated 09/13/2008)
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Who Is She?
 

EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going?' inquired God.
 
'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem.
 
It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain.'
 
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more
‘symmetrically balanced'.
 
'That's a fair point,' replied God, 'But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.'
 
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes
 
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden .
 
' Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?'
 
'Just fantastic,' she replied, 'But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.'
 
God thought for a moment and said, 'You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I put that useless boob?'
 
Now doesn't THAT make more sense than all that crap about the rib?

 

 

 

08/09/08
Maxine's slide down the Banister of Life

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, remember...


1.  Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written

     an impressive new book.   It's called...

     'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'

 

2.  Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink,

      and be Mary.

 

3.  The difference between the Pope and

     your boss:  the Pope only expects you

     to kiss his ring.

 

4.  My mind works like lightning.  One brilliant

     flash and it's gone.

 

5.  The only time the world beats a path to

     your door is when you're in the bathroom.

 

6.  I hate sex in the movies.  Tried it once.

     The seat folded up, the drink spilled, and

     that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

 

7.   It used to be only death and taxes

     were inevitable.  Now, of course, there's

     shipping and handling, too.

 

8.  A husband is someone who, after taking

     the trash out, gives the impression that

     he just cleaned the whole house.

 

9.  My next house will have no kitchen.  Just

     vending machines and a large trash can.

 

10.  A blonde said, 'I was worried that my

       mechanic might try to rip me off.

       I was relieved when he told me all

       I needed was turn signal fluid.'

 

11.  Definition of a teenager? 

       God's punishment for... enjoying sex.   

       
12.  As you slide down the banister of life, may

       the splinters never point the wrong way.

 

                      

                   

          

                  

 

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Created: 4/21/06
Updated: 09/13/2008